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Confused about consent? Situationship causing you grief? Having an ‘Am I The Asshole?’ moment but want to avoid the horrors of Reddit? Need guidance to bring up the porn conversation with someone young in your life?

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We are unable to provide formal or ongoing support for victim-survivors of sexual violence. If you think you have experienced sexual assault, you may wish to seek professional support. 1800RESPECT, the national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information and support service can be contacted on 1800 737 732  or via their website at www.1800RESPECT.org.au, 24-hours a day, 7 days a week. Details of other support services are included on Teach Us Consent’s website on the 'support' page.
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LATEST issue

We are one of nature’s few species that mate in private. Despite humanity’s remarkable diversity, there are few cultures where coitus is carried out in plain sight. And, even in those few cultures, some effort to conceal mating is generally made.

This makes us a prude among animals, who are broadly far less shy about their mating behavior. (The evolutionary reasons for the prudishness of Homo sapiens are somewhat obscure, but, in a sentence, mating privately may have circumvented some jealousies and helped us cooperate.)

An interesting fact is downstream of this: our ancestors would have seldom, if ever, seen anyone other than themselves and their own partners having sex.

This is only surprising in light of pornography. Really, how many times have you seen another pair of humans mating outside of digital media? The technologies of photography, and then film, and then the internet, represent a dramatic reworking of the visual life of our species. We did not evolve to be sexual spectators, and now, in America, nearly half of men and one in six women see a full show weekly.

While I think we should be cautious of moral panic, we should wonder whether there are any consequences to this sudden change...

"Before my current relationship, I was very vocal on the importance of consent and calling out sexism! But I feel like my boyfriend has worn me down. For example, I didn’t like him touching my ass in public and called him out on it multiple times, but now I am indifferent about it. Or I’ve even caught myself making sexist jokes that belittle women. I go back and forth because he is great with some things, like taking turns with the bill, and we team up for cooking and cleaning! But he doesn’t correct his friends when they say or do terrible things, and brings up male-related societal issues when I try to talk about feminism... How can I help him understand the need to call out sexism in friends and family, and to make small changes to help eliminate rape culture?"

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Lizzie Hedding

Hot bitch

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